Raising tomorrows leaders

Raising the Leaders of Tomorrow Mufti Ismail Menk

http://soundcloud.com/mudeer-menk

This is amazing lecture that I recommend everyone who has children or is involved in the bringing up of children should listen to.


My reflections from the lecture:

Every year problems are greater. I really relate to this because when I was younger the internet was dial up there were no mobile phones unless you were rich.
As much as the world is being technological advanced leadership and attitudes are becoming backward.
May Allah swt make us leaders and us recognise leaders:

We can't have everything sometimes in order for good leadership we sometimes need to give up our opinions.

The Quran, Sunnah and the Sahaba are our examples.
We have examples how the Prophet Muhammad peace and blessing be upon him how he treated his own children and the children of the ummah.

Virtue of an orphan child.  A child that before the age of puberty who doesn't have father is an orphan.
There is a a lesson in this for leadership.  Leadership is not restricted to those who have both parents. A perfect condition for children is to have both parents but not a must look at the Prophet PBUH.

Islam is for everyone not just muslims:
 

Mufti Menk's Twenty Point Plan

1. Praise your child in the presence of others and any child you want to raise to be a leader,
Mashallah you've done well you look good.

Even if they get 4 out of 10 in an exam why do you want to concentrate on the 6 that were wrong look at the 4 that was right....subhanallah

When you praise your child in front of others you naturally put in that leadership quality by making them feel loved and appreciated.
next time you can add things i.e. next time you will do even better...

If yout want to admonish your child do it only in private.
Otherwise it's self destructive and the child you decrease self confidence.
Loose the confidence of the child because of this in the presence of others.

The child's job is to cry your job is to handle the child correctly!
slapping your child and telling them to shut up????????
To say keep quiet is a much better quality, this is a much a higher word.  SHUT UP shows your own fustration and you don't have respect for your child therefore how can your child have respect for others.


2.Never make your child feel that they are useless.
It is broader and far greater than above. They are taught that some are more deserving than others when you favour one over others.
Give all the children or none of them don't only buy things for one.
There is always hope and Allah says this in the Quran, a person who feels that they have commmited a sin and will never be forgiven by Allah has followed the footsteps of the devil.

3. Every time we speak to our children talk with respect.
Please and thank yous'.

Speak with language that is not colloquial. Clear concise, they will speak to others in that matter.  Speak with manners and respect and your child will follow your footsteps.
Do not even tell off the children infront of other siblings.
The prophet subhanallah said do not speak slang it will reduce your respect.

4. When your child is young remember they are children!
Correct expectations. Do not treat them like adults.
Let them do something that is fitting to that age they need time to play.
you will not spoil them for giving them what they need as children.
Treat them within their ages groups.
Carry them when they're young. :)
Otherwise a child rebels at an early age.  When they are adults they try and become to the child they never were.

5. Assist the child to make decisions.
Help the child.  Speak to them appreciate what they have chosen if it is not wrong, we need to guide and help them, give them advice.
They will later be able to make decisions and help others make decisions.

6. When your making decisions, ask their opinions.
shura teach children consultation.
Mutual disscusion to make decisions.

7. Give each child their own section of the house.
A room, a corner hang up their achievements

8, Lead by example

Pray
start instructing your children to pray from the age of 7

10. Encourage your children to ask questions.
children know too much two young.
talk about marriage at the age of the 10.

11. always fulfil your promises.

12. devolop the skills of being part of a group
team effort is very important when part of a group.
competition is important within certain limits.
team sports you can only win if you pass things to others give them a chance.

Make Duaa for you children.
In battle sometimes the prophet gave leadership to people who were not best in war.

13. Relate to your children stories of when you were young.

14. teach your child to say no to things that are unacceptable.

15.

16. how to rise up to failure.  How to react to failure.

17. when you have made an error to your child admit fault! say I'm sorry
becareful if you wont admit your wrong you'll get to a point where you wont admit your errors to Allah

18. Have suprises for your children.  Every so often, it boosts their deeds of goodness.  helps kids excell.

19.Train our children to read a portion of the Quran daily.
The minute you see they get bored stop and continue tomorrow.
read material that is good. and question the material teach them how to know if it's good.

20.Tell the child repeated that you love your child.
they are the most important to you.
Hug and embrace them.
It is sunnah to kiss your children.